Lack of confidence may show up in different shapes and colours, it may show up as some of the examples below:
Being afraid of voicing your opinion, for example giving the floor to someone else when it’s your turn to speak, or just not speaking at all.
People pleasing: putting other’s needs on top of yours to avoid conflict
Being indifferent: pretending you don’t care about something, so that you don’t have to speak up.
Tuning down yourself: not wearing the fiery red shirt just because suddenly it looks too flashy for you – “It looks good on the model, but not me…”
These are just some examples, but lack of self-confidence may show up in many different forms.
There are stages in life where is more common to have a lack of self-confidence, for example during our childhood when our personality is forming, so the people surrounding us, especially our main carers have a big impact in our wellbeing and perception of ourselves. The teenager years are also a critical time where the opinion of our peers matters a lot and we are more perceptible to the comments of others. Nevertheless, adults also can face insecurity, especially in situations where facing something new, for example a new job or dating.
There may be many root causes for lack of self-confidence, for example it may have been triggered by an external event such as the loss of a loved person or pet, a traumatic event like an accident, a change in your physical appearance, a break-up, a change in financial situation, you name it, there are so many possibilities on the why behind it.
Regardless of the cause of the lack of confidence, here are some tips to boost your self-confidence:
• Identify the trigger and process all the related emotions in a safe space
• Talk to a friend, go to therapy, hire a coach: what is key is to allow yourself to feel what you need to feel, for some people it might be easier than for others and time will also vary from person to person
• Move your body: it will help a lot to process your emotions; dance, walk, run, swim, do yoga, whatever you feel comfortable with
• Get in touch with Mother Earth: ground, be in contact with nature
• Breath: take a few deep breaths, it will help to calm your mind and give some clarity
• Rest: get enough sleep, if you have trouble falling asleep try some meditation apps, turning off electronics at least 30 min before going to bed
• Nourish your body: eat more fruits and vegetables and drink enough water. Water is so important!!!
• Read this book: doesn’t matter where you are in your journey, this book is great to stop doubting about yourself.
• Practice gratitude: just be thankful for what you have in life, relationships, things, opportunities, your body, etc. The more you do it the more it will be a habit and the easiest it will come to you, eventually you will automatically be thankful about everyday things without even thinking about. Being grateful raises your vibration, which is so powerful.
